Test Yourself: Just a Crush or Something More?
1. How often do you talk?
A. Never. I just stare non-creepily from a distance.
B. Occasionally, in between classes and stuff.
C. Several times a day.
2. When you talk, it is usually…
A. We don’t talk; I’m not sure the love of my life knows I’m alive.
B. Through text messages mostly.
C. In person or on the phone.
3. The first thought that pops into your mind when you see him or her is…
A. Wow! Looking good today!
B. I wonder if he/she really likes me.
C. What a kind and thoughtful person.
4. If your dream date has had a bad day, you…
A. Don’t notice.
B. Wish he/she would quit complaining and pay more attention to you.
C. Listen, and then try to think or something cheerful to say or do.
5. How much do you know about him/her?
A. His/her class schedule and the best times to “accidentally” meet.
B. Who his/her friends are.
C. His/her thoughts about life, the future, God, and relationships.
6. The feature you find most attractive is…
A. Appearance.
B. The way he/she acts around you and your friends.
C. Personality, demeanor, looks, and intelligence.
7. When you are together, you mostly talk about…
A. My dream date doesn’t know I exist, remember?
B. Yourself, or what’s going on with people and school.
C. What’s happening in your lives.
8. You trust this person to…
A. Be eye candy and that’s about it.
B. Be a fun date.
C. Have your best interests and others’ interests at heart.
9. If your parents/close friends didn’t like this person, you would…
A. I haven’t told my parents/close friends.
B. Ignore them. I make my own decisions.
C. Listen to them and talk it through with them.
10. Your age is…
A. 13 or younger.
B. Why does that matter?
C. Late teens. I know that’s still young, but…
If you answered mostly A’s, then this is a crush. Pure and simple. And that’s okay, it’s natural. That’s what teenage girls (and guys) do.
If you answered mostly B’s, you’re thinking about yourself too much and what you can get out of a relationship. This isn’t love or anything like it really, but it is a part of growing up. Just make sure you continue to grow up and out of this stage.
If you answered mostly C’s, you could be on your way to something deeper. Perhaps it’s friendship; perhaps it’s something more. You’ve broadened your horizons enough to start putting something else before yourself. You’re interested in more than just appearances and in what happens today. But be careful. Take it slow. And relax. Love is something that grows over time; it shouldn’t be rushed. And remember, you’re still a teen- a maturing, growing teen, but still a teen.
Excerpted from The Truth About Dating, Love & Just Being Friends. 2011 by Chad Eastham. Thomas Nelson, Inc. pgs. 81-84. Used with permission. All rights reserved.
