If there is one thing that is super hard to deal with as a girl, it’s all the unnecessary drama that goes on every day at school and with our friends. Sometimes, our emotions can get the best of us and we end up saying things we don’t mean, acting out in ways that hurt others and just getting easily frustrated or irritable with each other.

Or, maybe today you are the one with a cool temper, but a close friend of yours is on the warpath with a hurricane of gossip and drama. With that in mind, you should know one thing: you can’t control what others think, do, and say – but you CAN control how you respond to it.

So, here are nine easy ways to deal with (and respond to) unnecessary drama…

1. Love:
   No matter what, love your friends and be quick to forgive them. Since God first loved us and is unconditional with His love for us, we too should show that same love to others. (Even and especially when it is hard or they don’t deserve it.)
2. Joy:
   If someone is spreading mean rumors about you to upset you, what do you think they would do if you didn’t let it get to you? The more outwardly upset you become, the more control you give to the girl talking about you and the more the rumors fuel. Simply choose to react in a positive way, being happy and confident with who you are.
3. Peace:
   Let the girl drama exist separate from you. The more peaceful you are, the less you allow it to affect you and your day.
4. Patience:
   Be quick to listen and slow to speak, hearing your friends out. Sometimes we just have to vent and let all of our emotion out. Eventually, your friend will calm down and you can gently reassure her that everything is going to be okay.
5. Kindness:
   This one speaks for itself. Just because someone is mean to you, does not mean you have the right to be mean back at them. If you don’t want to be their friend that’s fine, but at least be kind.
6. Faithfulness:
   this is something you do over and over, something you are loyal to. When you are faithful to forgive, faithful to love, faithful to being kind – these things become habit and will be easier and easier the more you practice them.
7. Gentleness:
   Sometimes, softly spoken truth can hit someone to the core just as much as a mean and nasty lie. Find ways you can get your point across without being so harsh. (For example: When your parents say they are “disappointed” in you as opposed to yelling at you or grounding you. Ouch!)
8. Goodness:
   It’s not easy to do the right thing all the time, and no one ever will. But that doesn’t mean we should stop trying. You will be rewarded if you keep trying to do the right thing, especially when it comes to how you interact with and care for others.
9. Self Control:
   Finally, as tempting as it is to want to lash back at someone who has hurt you, lashing out only creates more drama. By controlling your reaction and staying calm during a confrontation, you allow the drama to be the other person’s problem, not your own.

Do you know that you have the power to end unnecessary drama in your friendships and at school? Even if you picked just ONE of the above ways to deal with hard situations, your friendships will be better because of it. Choose to not allow someone else’s junk effect YOUR day, YOUR mind, YOUR attitude.

So, was this helpful? How else can you respond to or deal with girl drama?

“But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

“’Bullying is so cool.’ That phrase has never been said by anyone. Ever. Especially those of us who have dealt with the issue of bullying . . .” Kramer Rasmussen, a Seattle pastor (The City Church) who works primarily with children and youth, has been spreading the word about bullying (and how to deal with it) at The Revolve Tour: this is Love events. (Read his #stopthebull post here.)

Now you can help “stop the bull” and take a stand by wearing this anti-bullying statement tee. (Because bullying is NOT cool and we all know it). Lightweight 60% cotton/40% polyester blend navy tee has rounded neck and short sleeves with white and red design. The tee front states “BULLYING IS COOL! — said no one ever—”. The back takes the message even farther: it’s printed with the hashtag #stopthebull (in white letters).

Available in junior sizes with a feminine fit; also available in adult large for those who prefer a looser cut. Wear a shirt. Take a stand. Stop the bull. Order here.

Check out this sneak peak of what a Revolve Tour experience is like.

Register for an event near you here.

Set against the backdrop of a photo shoot (how fun is that?), the guys from Anthem Lights tell the story of how the group got together, what the name “Anthem Lights” signifies, and what they really think about each other.

A good friend of mine is a high school teacher. I asked her “if there is one thing you could tell teen girls…?” Before I could even finish the question, she said “words.”

Words are often the root of all teenage problems (drama, bullying, dating, reputation, etc.).

When I think about all the trouble I caused myself as a teenager (and quite frankly, as an adult), it has often centered on not holding my tongue. We do only live once. But who and what are we living for? #YOLO for ourselves or for God and others? #YOLO for peace or contention?

These Bible verses say it best: “When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can control their whole bodies. Also a ship is very big, and it is pushed by strong winds. But a very small rudder controls that big ship, making it go wherever the pilot wants. It is the same with the tongue. It is a small part of the body, but it brags about great things.

A big forest fire can be started with only a little flame. And the tongue is like a fire. It is a whole world of evil among the parts of our bodies. The tongue spreads its evil through the whole body. The tongue is set on fire by hell, and it starts a fire that influences all of life. People can tame every kind of wild animal, bird, reptile, and fish, and they have tamed them, but no one can tame the tongue. It is wild and evil and full of deadly poison. We use our tongues to praise our Lord and Father, but then we curse people, whom God made like himself. Praises and curses come from the same mouth! My brothers and sisters, this should not happen.” James 3:3-10 NCV

And now multiply this by a thousand for teenagers and adults today who tweet these dangerous, hell-fire words. . . . Words now sting with a force beyond understanding by those who post them. Our reputations and how we treat others, particularly in our social networking, is being watched at a grand scale.

Before we speak, post, comment, tweet, blog, unfriend, block, we need to always ask ourselves, “does this build up and give grace to those who hear and watch?” After all, #YOLO for #God.

“When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you.” Ephesians 4:29 NCV

How does the attitude “you only live once” line up with what Jesus says? KJ-52 has some things to say about that in this video.