So summer is over. My guess is you are either SUPER EXCITED about starting school or FULL OF DREAD. Lets be honest, there may be few things more exciting than organizing new school supplies in your brand new backpack. But on the other hand there may be few things more dreadful than hanging up your swimsuit and trading your lazy summer morning for a blaring alarm clock.

Either way you’re feeling, one thing is for sure . . .

School IS starting.

So let’s focus on the positive—you get to see all your friends you’ve been missing all summer!!! Or have you not really been missing them? Hmm . . .

Here at Revolve, next to questions about boys, we get tons of questions about friendship. So much so that I thought this fall I would devote my blogging to the subject.

Friendship can be tough, huh? You get annoyed with each other, they hurt your feelings and never return the clothes they borrow. And you always feel misunderstood.

I think the thing about misunderstanding is sometimes we fail to understand where our friends may be coming from. We are always seeking to be understood and never doing the understanding.

But friendship can be so great too! You laugh till you can’t breathe, you have the best heart to hearts and you borrow each others clothes.

We need friends, but more than that we need GOOD friends.

You’ve heard it said, “To have friends, first you have to be a friend.” I’m not sure there is better advice than this.

So how can you be sure YOU are a GOOD friend? I want to suggest 4 ways over the course of this fall that will help you become a better friend, as well as tackle one of your questions about friendship.

This month, lets work on one thing:

#1: ASK GOOD QUESTIONS.

And genuinely want to know the answer.

Most people love talking about themselves. Questions are a great way to get to know people and show them that you care.

When we show people we care about them, they tend to share their stories. And when you know people’s stories you almost always can find a connection. And when a connection is made a friendship is born! Ha! If only it were that easy, huh? Well, at least it’s a start.

A good question I received this week was:

Can I have friends who aren’t Christians?

My answer—you not only can, but WILL you, please! Probably one of the greatest ways we can be a friend to people is to show them the love of Jesus. I think too often we judge people and we think we have them figured out. We don’t take the time to ask them GOOD questions to find out why they might be mean to others, wear those clothes, why they keep to themselves, or party like crazy. I’m not saying you need to spend every second with them (spending every second with any one person is a bad idea) but eating lunch with them at school or a random trip to the mall is always a great way to get to know somebody.

All I’m saying is get to know people. Learn their story.

What are some good questions? I’m so glad you asked.

Here are some examples:

• What do you like to do after school?
• What is your favorite school subject?
• If you had to choose between having one best friend and a room full of acquaintances, what would you choose?
• If you could travel to ANY place in the world, where would it be and why?
• Tell me about your family—Do you have brothers and sisters? Have you always lived in this town or somewhere else? Have you grown up in the same house?

*Notice all of these require more than a yes or no answer; they all require you to listen.

Try asking some good questions this month and see what happens. Check back in September for my second suggestion on how to have great friendships.

I’m here for YOU always. And as far as your relationship with me goes—ALL questions are good questions.

That’s just how good of friends we are.